Tory leadership hopeful Liz Truss is facing criticism and a huge personal energy bill, as the lights appear to be constantly on but nobody seems to be home.
Liz Truss, who would be out of her depth in a Petri dish, faced a grilling by Kay Burley yesterday in front of an audience of Conservative Party members, and displayed a level of intellect that surprised absolutely no-one who is even remotely familiar with her.
“She looked more or less with it at first,” party member Simon Williams told us this morning.
“Her eyes were open and looking around the room, and she didn’t instantly fall off her chair or start chewing the back of her chair like a toddler.
“But then she would get asked a question and would respond with either a mirthless smile and a vacant expression, or worse, an attempt at some form of an answer, which would come out as complete drivel.”
He concluded, “PMQs will be interesting in September if she is our next Prime Minister – she’ll go to pieces quicker than a tower of cards in a wind tunnel.”
Liz Truss has refuted the allegation that the lights are on but nobody’s home by spending a good part of this morning telling a very nice reporter that she will be an incredibly smart Prime Minister, before realising that she was just talking to herself in the mirror.