There are increasing fears that many people will miss out on the planned £400 fuel payment this winter because come on, have you seen this government?
“I mean, it’s not enough, it’s not a long term solution, it’s not means-tested, but my biggest problem with this £400 payment is, come on, have you seen this government?” said Simon Williams, a worried financial expert.
“They’re bound to balls it up. They’ll accidentally give all the money for the payments to a dog, or leave it in Sainsburys or something.”
Struggling families are concerned as well.
“Well, look, I’m grateful for any help we can get but, you know, I’m really worried that, despite what everyone’s saying, we’re not actually going to get any help with fuel bills this winter because, come on, have you seen this government?
“I mean, I’m not one of their mates who’ve just decided to get into the PPE business, I’m not a Russian with obvious connections to Putin, I’m not married to an Tory MP, why on earth would they end up giving me any money?”
Nadhim Zahawi, who is apparently the Chancellor of the Exchequer at present, sought to reassure people.
“I can assure you that we will be taking extra care to make sure that everyone receives this fuel allowance and will almost certainly bring in an external agency to administer the process because, come on, have you seen this government?”