Tuesday 2 August 2022 by Neil Tollfree

Could Liz Truss become Britain’s first non-human Prime Minister?


Liz Truss for non-human prime minister

As Liz Truss strengthens her hold on the leadership battle, many people are now taking seriously the possibility that Great Britain could have its first non-human Prime Minister.

“It looks like we will, finally, have a non-human PM,” said political historian Simon Williams.

“And about time too! For too long, it’s been human beings running the country. Well, I’m not sure they’ve done a terribly good job, so it’s about time we let someone who isn’t human give it a try.”

Liz Truss first arrived on the planet at some point in the mid-eighties and assimilated into earth society immediately, becoming one of the first non-human beings to attend Merton college at Oxford.

Although many thought her non-human ways would cause her leadership campaign problems, it seems that the opposite has been true with the Tory party membership uniting under her uncompromising campaign slogan – ‘Foolish humans, you will all become my slaves’.

“I think the turning point was when she visited the hospital,” continued Mr Williams.

“An old man was crying and Liz just reached out, touched his cheek and asked ‘why are your ocular organs leaking fluid?’ It was a nice moment when she really tried to understand human emotions. People liked that.”

Interestingly, it seems that this time next month, not only could Britain have its first non-human Prime Minister, but also its first non-human Chancellor and Home Secretary, with Liz Truss set to name the T-1000 and Predator to the respective roles.

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