‘If it bleeds, we can kill it’ Boris Johnson bids farewell to PMQs

author avatar by 2 years ago

Boris Johnson has bid farewell to Prime Ministers Questions today by cheerfully quipping ‘if it bleeds, we can kill it’ before leaving the chamber to applause from Tory MPs. 

Johnson, who also requested Keir Starmer’s clothes, boots and his motorcycle left the chamber earlier after declaring that his mission was largely accomplished after completely ruining the country in his time as the Prime minister.

Speaking earlier he declared, “If it bleeds, we can kill it.

“Which is effectively what we have tried to do too much of the British public throughout our shambolic handling of the Covid crisis and destruction of the NHS.

“So it’s Hasta La Back or I’ll be Vista or something, and a jolly good farewell.

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“My mission to completely ruin the whole of the UK with my incompetent decision making, lies, lack of leadership and immoral behaviour is well and truly accomplished.

“I get to leave with my head held high because You’re not sending me to de cooler, despite me spending a large part of my time as Prime Minister hiding in a fridge.”

Asked if he has any idea whatsoever what he’s talking about or if it’s just a rambling mess as usual with no answers and no real content we were told, “Get to da chopper.”

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