‘I just put in a great performance yesterday’ – Mother Nature smashes her own British record

author avatar by 8 months ago

Mother Nature has smashed her personal best hottest UK temperature in what pundits are calling a truly sensational personal best performance by the weather maker. 

With temperatures hitting 40.3C in Lincolnshire, and 29 other locations beat the previous highest mark, Mother Nature smashed her previous best by a full degree celsius – a margin even the most optimistic commentators previously thought impossible.

Speaking earlier she told us, “I think everything just went for me yesterday, it was a great performance.

“I knew I had a chance going into the day and had really worked hard overnight to ensure that it didn’t cool down anywhere to give myself a shot at a new personal best.

“Then I just went for it early doors and started smashing in the heat, as much as I possibly could, and finally got there this in the early afternoon. It was an amazing feeling.

“Obviously I’ve had a bit of help with the climate crisis that everyone is ignoring, but I’ve still had to push a lot of wind up from Africa and work hard to maintain that high pressure for quite a few days to achieve this.

“But the summer isn’t over year, and I just want to see if I can push it a little bit higher now over the next few months to really set some records that might last well into next year.

Asked if she could then perhaps keep that weather at, say, 25C for the remainder of the summer with some nice cool nights we were told, “Nope. I’m probably gonna start some flooding and stuff.”