A wife from Chelmsford, Essex has finally admitted that the time may be right to change from the spring duvet to the summer one.
Mrs Williams came to the conclusion yesterday, when the night-time temperature in Chelmsford was slightly higher than Venus.
“I woke up during the night and noticed that Simon, that’s my husband, he was on fire. It was then I thought that maybe it was time switch from the Spring duvet to the Summer one.”
Mrs Williams had previously been reluctant to do so.
“Well, the thing is that you never know when you’re going to get a bit chilly, do you? I mean, yes, you start off quite warm, but then, after a bit, your feet get all cold, and you’re quite grateful for a bit of a warmer duvet.”
However, with her husband on fire, the wallpaper having peeled from the walls and the pond evaporated, Mrs Williams finally felt confident to change the duvet for this evening.
“I think we’ll be alright, don’t you? I might get the throw from the sofa and just pop it at the bottom of the bed, just in case. Oh no, that spontaneously combusted during the evening yesterday. We’ll have to get a new one.”
Mrs Williams still has the central heating set to come on for an hour just before the family wakes up – ‘to take the chill off’ – but is considering switching that off if, as weather forecasters predict, Chelmsford becomes a hellish conflagration of fire and death and completely melts into the ground.