James Webb telescope provides tantalising glimpse 5 billion years into the past with the first pictures of Jacob Rees-Mogg’s childhood

author avatar by 5 months ago

Nasa has released the first images of Jacob Rees-Mogg’s childhood, thanks to the incredible far reaching photographic capabilities of the James Webb telescope.

The James Webb telescope is the largest optical telescope in space, and its infrared capabilities mean it is able to glimpse far into the distance to a time before Earth even existed and Jacob Rees-Mogg was still in nappies.

Chief astronomer Simon Williams told us, “We are delighted release these photos to the public. These pictures of Jacob Rees-Mogg will redefine what it means to be an ancient throwback to a bygone era.

“It is only now, with the benefit of modern technology, that we can truly grasp just how ancient and outdated his ideologies are. He is very much a product of his time, which is technically before time existed as a human construct.

“His ideas on how society should function were already outdated before many of the stars in our galaxy had even formed.

“Our photos show that Jacob Rees-Mogg was being weaned from his wet nurses nipple while our own sun was nothing more than amorphous stellar nebula.

“This new perspective should teach humanity a great many things that should remain in the past, but we all know, unfortunately, that people will still vote for him.”