New Education Minister Andrea Jenkyns caught smoking behind Parliament bike sheds

author avatar by 5 months ago

The new Education Minister has been caught playing truant, breaching the parliamentary dress code and smoking behind the bike sheds.

When newly appointed Education Minister Andrea Jenkyns was seen giving the middle finger to crowds outside Downing Street, it seemed like a fairly typical interaction between a Tory and the British public.

However, it turns out that Ms Jenkyns is also terrible example to children.

“We don’t need no educayshun,” she said, somehow managing to spell the word incorrectly while speaking. “We don’t need no thought control.

“No one’s gonna tell me what to do. If I wanna wear trainers to the House of Commons then I will.

“If I wanna walk down the corridors of power without taking my coat off then I will!

“And if I feel like bunking off the Education select committee to go shopping on Oxford Street then that’s up to me.

“Most of these parliamentary rules are so lame! I’m off the bike sheds for a fag – I’m absolutely gagging.”

In addition to public disapproval, some of Ms Jenkyns’ fellow Tory MPs have also criticised her behaviour.

“No one holds the great unwashed in as much contempt as I do,” said Jacob Rees-Mogg. “However, there are certain standards one must uphold in public life.

“Rule-breaking and corruption must be done secretly and cleverly. Loopholes must be sought and exploited.

“For example, there isn’t actually a regulation which prohibits taking snuff behind the stables.”