Right-wing fury as Durham Police legalise curry

author avatar by 5 months ago

Entirely Predictable right-wing contrarians have today launched a scathing attack on Durham Police for their decision to unilaterally make curry legal.

After a statement by Durham Police announced that Keir Starmer and Angela Rayner would not be given a fixed penalty fine for eating a curry while working in a constituency office, precisely the sort of wailing gobshite you are currently picturing called it ‘the end of law and order as we know it’.

Simon Williams, a television presenter on one of those tiny channels that likes to think it’s important, explained, “That’s it, we live in a police state now. Durham Police have taken the unilateral decision to make curry legal, despite the obvious conclusion that Keir Starmer broke the law when he ate one.

“It’s one rule for the curry-loving lefties, and another entirely for the ruling-elite who were maliciously prosecuted by the Met Police for a couple of harmless parties, a little bit of cake and the odd suitcase full of wine.

“The liberal media will no doubt try and tell you that police have looked at both cases and decided one group broke the law, and the other didn’t, but that’s what they would say, isn’t it?

“The reality is the Met Police were corrupt in prosecuting our government and its officials, and the Durham Police were corrupt when they failed to prosecute Keir and his cronies.

“It’s just endless corruption. It’s the only other possible explanation. Except maybe me being wrong about everything, but obviously that’s impossible, so it’s definitely corruption.”