‘I’ve no idea where this Ferrari stuffed with cash on my driveway came from’ insists judge clearing Platini and Blatter of fraud

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The Swiss judge who cleared Michelle Platini and Sep Blatter of fraud in a Swiss court, has insisted today that the brand-new Ferrari filled with untraceable bank notes which she now owns was just found on her driveway by pure coincidence.

Senior judge Josephine Contu Albrizio, who also found tickets to Barbados and a five-star hotel reservation in the glove box, insisted earlier that the fortunate find on her driveway had nothing to with her decision to completely clear both parties of all charges against them. 

Speaking earlier she confirmed, “Just pure coincidence really. Someone must have just left it there with the keys in, stuffed full of money.

“Right on my driveway, and with tickets to Barbados, and some lovely new diamond jewellery which appears to fit me perfectly.

“Obviously this has absolutely nothing to do with me accepting that a payment of two million Swiss francs to Platini by Blatter was for work he had done based on a verbal agreement to ‘pay him later’ and with absolutely no contract or documents in place for the work.

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“I just totally believed them, because it all seemed so reasonable, and they both seem like such stand up guys.

“And the fact that a car full of money appeared on my drive half an hour later is totally unrelated.

“As is the new luxury apartment I now own in Monaco, which I am on my way to now.”