Thursday 30 June 2022

Vladimir Putin admits he’s never felt safer as 5′ 2″ 91-year-old insists he’d take a bullet for him


Bernie Ecclestone

Vladimir Putin has told close allies he has never felt safer after 91-year-old Bernie Ecclestone told GMB that he would happily take a bullet for the Russian leader.

Despite increasing international pressure and a growing number of Russian oligarchs angry at Putin over the ongoing Ukraine war, Putin is actually expecting his first good nights sleep in months following Ecclestone’s intervention.

A Russian source told us, “There is nothing more reassuring than knowing someone will dive in front of a bullet to protect you. Especially when that person needs a boost just to reach the buttons for the top floor in an elevator.

“Vladimir is hugely grateful to his great friend Bernie, and has asked that he head to Moscow immediately to make good on his pledge.”

Meanwhile, viewers were left shocked by the admission of the former F1 boss, despite it being completely on-brand for a man who once praised Adolph Hitler for his ability to “get things done”.

Viewer Simon Williams told us, “After the Hitler thing, and the various racism things, and the tax avoidance things, and the bribery stuff, I thought maybe it was just a phase Berniw was going through.

“But now, at 91, and with this Putin stuff, you have to wonder if he’ll ever grow out of it.”

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