‘If Putin were a woman I’d have probably had her’ claims Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson would have probably had sex with Vladimir Putin if he were a woman he has claimed today, which would have stopped her from invading Ukraine. 

With the Prime Minister citing ‘toxic masculinity’ as the main reason for Putin’s ‘crazy macho’ invasion of the country, Johnson has further revealed that had the Russian leader been a woman, he would have probably shagged her by now and everything would be okay as a result. 

Speaking earlier he confirmed, “Yes I think I’d have had her.

“If Putin was a woman, then I really don’t think he would have embarked on this crazy macho war of invasion, because he would have been shagging me instead, or she would, but you know what I mean.

“If you want a perfect example of toxic masculinity, then you just need to look at what he’s doing in Ukraine. 

“And if you want a perfect example of sexy masculinity, totally irresistible to woman, then just look at yours truly, he wouldn’t have stood a chance, if he were a woman that is.

“That’s why I feel that there should be far more women in power, to enable me to have sex with them, and stop them from being naughty.”

Asked if would have still had sex with the Russian leader despite being married with children, he told us, “Well that would be very unethical actually and an abhorrent thing to do…. so yes, definitely.”