England is to follow Scotland’s lead and seek a referendum on independence from the people of Westminster.
With a second Scottish referendum now looking more likely than ever, English people from around the country have insisted that independence from the Westminster-based government sounds pretty good to them.
Englishman Simon Williams explained, “Just like our Scottish brethren, we are tired of people hundreds of miles away in Westminster making up the rules for us to live by. It’s simply not on.
“With independence we would be able to have more control of our destinies, and to tell Boris Johnson and his cronies where to shove his ‘build back better’ bullshit.
“Freedom from the elitists of Westminster is what we all want. And the nation of England would be better off away from Westminster. We could even reapply to join the EU if we wanted to.
“They can keep their little square mile by the Thames in London and rule it however they fancy, and we’ll just take everything else from the Lake District to Brighton and run it as we see fit.
“Where will we get our money from? Well, I haven’t thought that far ahead yet, obviously. What am I, some sort of bloody accountant?”
The push for independence has gained momentum over the last 48 hours as citizens have realised just what it would mean for them personally.
Voter Deirdre Smith asked us, “So what you’re saying is that we could have a vote on independence, and that result would determine whether Boris Johnson has any control over anything that affects us directly?
“And some of you still think people will vote to ‘No’ to this?
“That’s really very funny.”