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Apple CEO Tim Cook has revealed the 4th generation of its AirPod headphones, which the tech giant insists are completely digestible.
At a hurriedly arranged product launch, Cook explained that his engineers had been working tirelessly to bridge that gap between unparalleled audio quality and easily absorbed micro-nutrients for the discerning customer who can’t tell the difference between headphones and vitamin pills.
Cook told those gathered, “The new generation of AirPods can do everything the third generation can do, with the added benefit of reducing the risk of scurvy and giving you a vitamin B12 boost.
“Never again will you worry about accidentally consuming an audio device, as you can do so safe in the knowledge that you are boosting your immune system as much as we boosted your bass.
“We would like to thank our customers for introducing us to this emerging marketplace, as we’d previously only worried about toddlers and animals accidentally eating our AirPods, rather than fully grown adult humans.”
The new AirPods will be priced at £599, which Apple insists is easily affordable if you cancel your Netflix subscription.
Cook was later forced to deny that they are developing an iPhone that can act as a suppository, and insisted customers should endeavour to keep any other products on the outside of their bodies.
