Labour-supporting activists have been left asking what went wrong this morning after the party they support scored a win in yesterday’s Wakefield by-election.
The by-election has been marked by predictions that Kier Starmer had left the party unelectable and his inevitable defeat in the red wall constituency would usher in an opportunity for someone properly left-wing who wants to nationalise cheese and eliminate the Kulak class to take the leadership because that’s what the British people actually really want.
Supporters insisted that the forthcoming loss for Labour would lead to a leadership challenge and a new leader who would take the party in a proper direction that agrees with them, and they are now ‘completely delighted at the win, yeah’ that this has not happened.
Twitter activist Simon Williams told us, “I said before the by election that what Labour really needed to win this by-election was someone who has a proven track record of agreeing with me all the time.
“Someone who is a proper socialist, someone who really, really hates Zionism, but is simultaneously utterly cool with Jews and has lots of Jewish friends.
“Because that’s absolutely top of the list of issues that matter to people in South Ossett.
“And although I may have bitten clean through my pen when I heard we’d won I am… obviously… delighted… to …say…I…was…wro…
“Damn, no, I can’t do it.”