These rail strikes remind me of the seventies, insists 38-year-old colleague

author avatar by 2 years ago

A human question mark you happen to share an office with has been loudly waffling about how planned strike actions made him reminiscent of the seventies even though he was born to the sound of Wham. 

The highly irritating colleague has taken a break from sending all his coworkers custom made Wordle puzzles involving motivational words, to talk about his personal fears of seeing the return of 3-day weeks and rolling blackouts that he never lived through.

Although successful in making everyone glad to have an excuse not to have to come work with him, the smarmy prick is part of a new trend that is set to get worse.

Professor Simon Williams, head of Croydon University’s Dickhead Research Project, said that arseholes pretending to have in-depth knowledge of the Winter of Discontent heralded the advent of a whole new generation of fuckwits who pretend their parents’ past is their own.

He explained, “As we see the passing of a generation who deeply believed they stormed the beaches of Normandy despite being born three years after it happened, we are seeing new trends in pricks trying to give themselves moral authority by referring to a past they were not part of.

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“What we are seeing more and more is people in their thirties or forties talking about bodies piling up in the morgues and mountains of rubbish despite being nothing more than jizz when these events happened or, in the best cases, toddlers.”

Professor Williams explained the phenomenon was unlikely to ever die out.

“Already we are seeing people on social media in their late twenties talking about their personal memories of Thatcherism, the Falklands War and the Stone Roses’ Spike Island concert.”