Thursday 16 June 2022 by Neil Tollfree

Boris Johnson’s conscience quits


Boris Johnson's conscience quits

Boris Johnson’s conscience has dramatically resigned from its post

“It has been a tremendous privilege to serve as the Prime Minister’s moral sense of right and wrong,” it said, in a resignation later posted on social media.

“In recent years, it has become increasingly obvious to me that my input was become less and less of value to the Prime Minister and that he had become far more reliant on other areas of his brain – ambition, desire, interior design, and so on.

“As such, I believe the time is right to move on to seek new challenges in brains where the sense of right and wrong is valued more than in the Prime Minister’s – somewhere like a serial killer’s or murderous dictator’s, for example.”

Number 10 is currently deciding whether or not to replace the Prime Minister’s conscience.

“We are, of course, sad to see the Prime Minister’s conscience leaving Number 10. I’m sure that its work was valued at some point,” said a Prime Ministerial aide.

“At the moment, we have no announcement of a replacement for the conscience. We are currently examining the role to try and understand if it is really required or if, perhaps, it can be merged in with another role in the brain – hunger, perhaps?”

It is thought unlikely that the public will notice any substantial difference in the work of Government now that the Prime Minister’s conscience has quit and, indeed, may be surprised to know that such a position was ever occupied.

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