‘We’re sending largely empty planes to Rwanda to prove a point’ says government determined to prove they are heartless, stupid and don’t care about environment

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The government have revealed today that they are sending a near empty plane to Rwanda this evening out of principle and in order to prove a point, that they are heartless, utterly stupid and don’t give a shit about the environment. 

With only seven, or maybe eight migrants now expected to actually be on the flight this evening, foreign secretary Liz Truss has moved to defend the government’s position by insisting that they still need to send the flight to Rwanda to prove a ridiculous point.

Speaking earlier she told us, “Yes, we know the flight will be essentially empty, but that’s not going to stop us.

“We are still going to send an empty flight to Rwanda in order to prove three points to the world.

“One, we are heartless bastards who don’t give a shit about the plight of desperate migrants trying to flee war and persecution from their own country.

“Two, we are totally fucking stupid and will to spend £250k of YOUR money for each flight, even when there are basically no migrants actually on the actual plane.

“And finally, that we do not give a shit about the climate change or the environment, sending empty planes half way round the world and burning through fifty tonnes of fossil fuel completely unnecessarily just because we are stubborn as fuck.”

Asked if they could perhaps look to help and assist the migrants here and think of a more workable solution we were told, “Yes, but what point would that prove?”