Winner of inaugural Saudi backed LIV Golf tournament to receive $4m and front row tickets to a public hanging

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The winner of this week’s inaugural Saudi backed LIV Golf tournament is set to receive a massive four million dollar pay out, along with front row tickets to a public hanging taking place on the 18th hole. 

The lucrative tournament, the first in a controversial breakaway organisation backed by Saudi Arabia’s Public Investment Fund begins this week near London, with players battling it out for a share of a massive $25m prize pool, and a selection of tickets to watch a public hanging, possibly of a woman but probably a gay. 

A spokesperson, who was of course a man, for the tournament confirmed, “The seats are right at the front, so it’s a truly magnificent prize.

“We are happy and excited to announce the start of our newly formed LIV Golf Invitational Series to bring golf to whole world, unless you are a woman of course, or part of the LGBT community.

“Where it is likely that you will be publicly flogged or worse as part of our ongoing commitment to human rights and equality.

“However, putting all that tittle tattle to the side for now, the winner of the tournament will get a cheque for a massive $4 million, plus some really good tickets to watch the hanging.”

Asked if there are any similar prizes for runners up in the tournament we were told, “If you finish in the top ten you can flog a woman for wanting an education.”