Her Majesty the Queen is reported to have woken up with a nasty hangover this morning, and expressed a hope she didn’t do anything she might regret.
She staggered groggily from her bed, knocking over a small pile of marmalade sandwiches and vaguely wondering where that shapeless red hat came from, before going to get herself a pint of water.
Her majesty went out on the lash last night to celebrate Charles still not being king, and things got a bit foggy after the fifth Gin and Tonic.
The last thing she really remembers is being refused access to the Royal Train to go to Glasgow for being too drunk, and suggested that if you’re too drunk to get into Glasgow then it’s probably a pretty good night.
“Crumbs, my head,” she is reported to have said.
“Never again. I swear to God, never again.”
“Where did that duffel coat come from?” she wondered. “What day is it again?”
At time of writing, Her Majesty has wandered back into the Royal bedchamber with a cup of tea and seen what’s there before muttering “Oh well, I suppose it’s still not as bad as what most of my family have got up to.”