Structural engineers have failed to save the London residence of the prime minister after it buckled under the weight of ‘several tons’ of Union Jacks this morning.
The flags, which were being displayed in a completely spontaneous and genuine outpouring of support, appear to have overwhelmed the old building overnight and caused the collapse.
Experts told us that old buildings were often not designed to support a tremendous weight of patriotic bunting because Victorians didn’t go in for that sort of display, instead preferring a small placard bearing the single word ‘huzzah’ in a neat copperplate.
“It’s possible the joists had been weakened by the PM bouncing on top of… hang on…” said a Number Ten spokesman before breaking off to check.
”…on top of ‘Carrie’, or so I’m told.
”But we’ve got to admit that several hundred yards of jingoistic pennants probably didn’t help matters, especially the huge one larger than the house itself.”
Despite the setback, the government has confirmed that should we get another Jubilee out of the Queen they plan to commission a gigantic Union Jack to cover the entire British isles out to Rockall, in what is described as a modest and appropriately restrained celebration.