Wednesday 1 June 2022

Man insists on calling it ‘Platty Joobs’ like some kind of simpleton


platty joobs

A man is today referring to the Platinum Jubilee as ‘Platty Joobs’, despite being a 45-year-old accountant and not an excited seven-year-old girl.

Simon Williams is excited about a four-day weekend, so excited it appears to have regressed his brain about 38 years.

“Platty Joobs!!” He told us, while packing away his desk, safe in the knowledge he won’t be looking at any spreadsheets for at least four days.

“I love it. How can you not love Platty Joobs? Four-day weekend? Yes PLEASE! I can spend the weekend having ‘drinkies’, eating ‘cakey-bakeys’ and having lots of ‘sleepy-weepies’.

“I’ve got a union jack T-shirt ready for the street-party that I assume will be happening outside my house, and I even bought something on Amazon called ‘bunting’. Apparently you need a bit of a bunty-wunty during Platty Joobs!”

“PLATTY JOOBS!!” he concluded.

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