Wednesday 18 May 2022

‘There was no way to predict this’ explains man to millions of people who predicted this


No way to predict this

Boris Johnson is leading the charge to unilaterally change the terms of the Northern Ireland Protocol, insisting there was no way to predict how it has turned out, despite being surrounded by millions of people who accurately predicted exactly how it has turned out.

“There was simply no way to predict the full impact of the oven-ready deal we implemented after the last general election,” Boris told reporters.

“Just because millions and millions of people predicted this precise outcome doesn’t mean it was easy to predict.

“It has come as a complete surprise to me personally, and to the government as a whole, that agreeing to put a border in the Irish Sea has caused significant issues with Northern Ireland’s Unionists and with the flow of goods to and from Northern Ireland. It is a problem that has come completely out of left field.

“I think it’s completely unfair to point out that this was always going to be the entirely predictable outcome to an oven-ready deal that pushed the biggest issues down the road in the hope of securing an election victory off the back of nothing more than populist rhetoric.

“I’m doing my best. I back Boris. I mean, I back me.”

Meanwhile, non-moron Simon Williams told us, “I hate to say I told you so, but I told you so. The strange thing is, you didn’t even need to be an expert to predict this. You didn’t need to have years of experience of the geopolitical situation in Northern Ireland to conclude the oven-ready deal would cause insurmountable problems in the format that was agreed.

“Six years on, and still people are clinging on to the desperate hope that Brexit was a good idea.”

I think, therefore I am, not a Brexit supporter – get the T-shirt!

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