Rebekah Vardy has admitted to defecating on Johnny Depp’s bedsheets it has been revealed today.
With the libel trial continuing between Rebekah Vardy and Amber Heard, or something, a dramatic turn of events earlier saw a confused Vardy actually admit to shitting on the bedsheets of rival Johhny Depp.
Outside the court reporter Simon Williams revealed, “She said she threw a bottle of wine at him too.
“It has been high drama at court today with the trial taking its toll on everyone involved, with both parties making a series of startling yet confusing admissions.
“Coleen Rooney, who is currently giving evidence on the stand has accused Vardy of slicing off part of Johnny Depp’s finger.
“To which an emotional Vardy strenuously denied whilst admitting that she may have shit on the Hollywood actor’s bed.
“Obviously Amber Heard accepts this revelation and has moved to have all legal actions against her withdrawn with immediate effect.
“A request which her lawyers have denied, because frankly they are making too much money from it all.”
Asked if he knows what’s going on himself, or if he’s watching too much TV, we were told, “I think OJ Simpson did it.”