State Opening of Parliament delayed after Met Police detain Black Rod

author avatar by 2 years ago

The ceremonial State Opening of Parliament was delayed yesterday after the Metropolitan Police seized and detained Black Rod.

Black Rod, the Parliament officer responsible for controlling access to the Chamber, was detained on suspicion of possessing cannabis, carrying a concealed weapon and ‘looking at the officer a bit funny.’

“Naturally enough, as soon as we got information that the Opening of Parliament had been infiltrated by an individual known as Black Rod, we took steps of intervene,” explained Commissioner Simon Williams.

“At the scene, Black Rod was identified and was informed that they would be subject to an entirely random stop and search procedure.

“The officers on scene explained that they had reason to suspect that Black Rod was in possession of an illicit substance and a concealed weapon. This information was based on intelligence about people who are black.”

The stop and search process produced no evidence, however the situation had, by that time, begun to escalate.

“Black Rod had, during the process, looked at one of the officers a bit funny and in such a situation the officer has the discretion to arrest the individual, which they set about doing.”

By this point though, various Westminster officials had reported the incident to the Commissioner.

“I arrived on the scene and I was satisfied that Black rod was a ceremonial official and not a black man called Rod. I ordered them freed and the officers to leave the scene.

“I apologise for the error, but I would suggest that the Palace of Westminster consider renaming the position of Black Rod to Caucasian Rod to prevent such an issue in future.”