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The government has expressed its deep concern that the Brexit deal relating to Northern Ireland, the one that was freely negotiated and entered into by this government, is actually a load of old bollocks.
Foreign secretary Liz Truss is set to scrap part of the Northern Ireland protocol, because that’s what grown ups do when they make deals and later realise they were awful.
Truss told our source, “The protocol agreed by this government being utter horseshit is as clear to everyone as our willingness to renege on deals after we agree them.
“How this government expected any Minister to deal with the fall-out from this unpolished wet turd, I have no idea.
“If I could go back in time, I would certainly like to have a quiet word in this government’s ear and point out the massive anchor it was tying to its leg before taking a swan dive into the Irish Sea.
“Having read, re-read and re-re-read the text for good measure, it literally says that the agreement creates a trade border in the Irish Sea. Ergo, it’s as plain as the messy Fabricant-style-rug on the PM’s head that this would entail mass disruption to British businesses sending goods across the Irish Sea.
“Seriously. Just give me five minutes in a room with the absolute pricks who agreed to this deal and happily promoted it as ‘oven ready’.
“Right, I better get on with blaming this total shitshow on the EU and trying to spin their, ‘being much better at negotiating’ into ‘still playing at being puritanical overlords’.
The definitive Brexit Venn Diagram!
