Monday 9 May 2022 by Neil Tollfree

Jeremy wouldn’t have had a beer, insists Labour Far Left


Corbyn supporter

The Far Left of the Labour Party have joined in the condemnation of Labour leader Keir Starmer seemingly breaking lockdown rules by insisting that Jeremy Corbyn wouldn’t have had a beer if he’d still been leader.

“This is the problem with Starmer,” explained Simon Williams, who was stood outside the precinct wearing a beret and bothering people with a petition about the rights of Venezuelan washing machine repairmen.

“He’s no different to the Tories. They were all at it. Boozing and partying and whatnot. If Jeremy was still in charge. He wouldn’t have been drinking, he’d have been just standing up for the common man. I don’t recognise the Labour Party anymore.”

A woman with a New Model Army T-Shirt and pierced knee was quick to agree.

“I just hope this exposes Starmer for what he really is – a privileged Tory lawyer who was drinking and having a party while the workers of this country were suffering.

“If Jeremy had still been in charge, he wouldn’t have done that. He’d have just finished campaigning for the day and then gone somewhere on his own to quietly contemplate his solidarity with the working classes across the world.”

The Far Left will now be hoping to press their advantage and use the ongoing police investigation remove Starmer to replace him with a returning Jeremy Corbyn and finally put paid to any chances of the party winning anything ever again.

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