The new Doctor Who will be deported by the Home Secretary after failing to adequately explain how he came to be in this country.
After Ncuti Gatwa was confirmed as the next incarnation of the Gallifreyan Timelord, writers have leaked that his first appearance will coincide with an attempt to deport him by Priti Patel.
“The Doctor will be his usual helpful self, rubbing shoulders with influential characters from history, including the current home secretary, who will immediately question his right to even be in the country, given he doesn’t look… ‘native’.
“Usually the Doctor who use psychic paper to create whatever credentials he needed, but given Priti Patel isn’t big on reading she won’t even give it a cursory look before demanding he be put on a plane to Rwanda.
“We don’t want to rule the surprise, but when he returns he finds the Tardis covered in graffiti saying ‘Go Back Home’ – and we are sure it won’t come as a surprise to anyone to learn that after years of abhorrent behaviour, over the duration of the series it is revealed that Patel is, in fact, the Master.”