Friday 6 May 2022 by Arabin Patson

Go back and find our political opponent guilty of something, police told by government in perfectly non-sinister way


Tories send police after Keir Starmer

Journalists have explained that there is nothing worryingly fascistic with ruling party members pressuring a police force into ignoring their previous findings and to keep digging until they can start criminal proceedings against their main electoral rival. 

Telegraph journalist and ardent supporter of bringing back the death penalty, Simon Williams, explained there it was absolutely normal for a party in power to badger a constabulary in public and behind the scenes to go after Keir Starmer.

He explained, “I resent the implication that this kind of thing is the hallmark of dictatorships.

“Keir Starmer is just as powerful as a minister because we all know the kind of hidden power these liberal remainers, notice I did not say Jews, wield behind the scenes.

“We just think it’s unfair that the police go after easy targets like someone born into the nation’s elite and holding the most powerful government post in the nation. It’s time Durham police stopped being influenced by their ultra-woke eyes and start doing the job that average joes who control their budget tell them it is.

“Hopefully, now the police have come to their sense and they can get on with the job of going over the actions of senior Labour figures with a fine tooth comb. Currygate is just the start. Why have there been no arrests after Diane Abbot’s mojito, Angela Rayner flashing our beloved leader or Jeremy Corbyn for having been accused by tabloids of being in the IRA?”

Mr Williams denied forcing the police to go after political opponents was something that would take place in Orban’s Hungary or dictatorships present and past.

“Poppyccock. Nothing fascist about that. And I should know, I own a rare signed copy of Mein Kampf.”

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