Friday 29 April 2022 by Mark Molloy

Man grateful as bladder provides nice forty-minute warning that his alarm will go off soon


man woken by his bladder

A man is feeling grateful today after his full bladder provided him with a nice forty minute warning once again, that his alarm for work will go off soon. 

Simon Williams, who has had the generous warning from his bladder for the last seven hundred and twenty days on the run, revealed his gratitude earlier after having to get out of bed for the toilet at 5:50am before getting up for work at six thirty this morning. 

Speaking earlier he told us “It’s a real joy, every single morning.

“My bladder always wakes me up in the morning, just before I actually need to get up, but not close enough to my alarm that I would probably be getting up anyway, as that would be far too convenient.

“Instead, I tend to wake approximately forty minutes before my alarm goes off, and then lie there for about ten minutes convincing myself that I don’t really need the toilet and try to go back to sleep, before eventually giving up and going for a piss.

“The timing is perfect, because then I get back in bed and slowly drift back into a nice deep sleep again before being woken six minutes later by my alarm clock to feel like utter shit.”

Asked if he has ever tried to catch his bladder out, by setting his alarm forty minutes earlier he told us “Yep, but it’s all over that and just wakes me forty minutes earlier than that. The clever bastard.”

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