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Deputy Labour leader Angela Rayner has been forced into an embarrassing turn-around and has now finally admitted that she is in possession of several legs.
Reports first emerged in the Boris Johnson Fan Club newsletter – The Mail on Sunday – that Ms Rayner owned a number legs.
Initially, the accusation was denied by both Ms Rayner and the Labour Party. However, after a week of increasing pressure and damning pictorial evidence, Ms Rayner has finally come clean and admitted that she owns between one and three legs and uses them regularly for motion.
“Frankly, I hope that Ms Rayner is considering her position,” said an outraged Sir Simon Bumface-Williams, the 104-year-old Tory MP for Buttock-Under-The-Water.
“Not only did she deny having legs, but she stood up using those legs to make such a denial. It’s outrageous hypocrisy of the worst kind and not something we should see in our great parliament.”
Sir Simon called for Ms Rayner to stop attending PMQs for the foreseeable future.
“I don’t think she should be in the chamber as she is clearly using these legs of hers to gain an unfair advantage. To stand up to speak, to sit down again when she’s finished speaking. It’s all done with these legs she denied having and, frankly, that’s not on.”
The Mail on Sunday is said to be preparing to rock the Labour Party with a new bombshell revelation that up to two thirds of Labour’s 104 female MPs also have legs.
