UK’s first self- driving bus passes ‘ignore passengers running to bus stop’ test

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The UK’s first self- driving bus has passed the ‘ignore desperate passengers running to the bus stop’ test with flying colours it is revealed today after successfully driving off without them. 

With news emerging that Scotland is to begin testing the bus today in preparation for launching the vehicle in the summer, further news has revealed that the bus successfully passed a number of passengers running to the bus stop in clear sight of the virtual driver. 

A spokesperson for Stagecoach confirmed, “The results are looking promising.

“The bus has treated a number of passengers with distain and hilariously driven off just as a number of them arrive at the bus stop.

“Further results have indicated that the self-driving bus has the capability to successfully drive past a number of people running to get to the bus stop but who are just five seconds too late.

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“Obviously we need to work on some timing issues with one of the busses arriving at a bus stop almost ten minutes after the first one instead of actually arriving at exactly the same time.”

Asked how much it will be to take a ride on the driverless bus we were told “A fucking fortune, just like real buses these days.”