Madman to buy toilet wall for $44bn

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Some lunatic is spaffing an obscene amount of money in order to own Twitter.

Elon Musk, or Tony Stark without the redemption arc, is going to buy the social media platform for $44bn.

“We’ve got a toilet wall here in Stoke with all kinds of weird shit written on it.” commented Stoke resident, Hayley Rice.

“He could have had that for seventy quid I reckon. $44bn for a platform where half the content is lunatics typing “WAKE UP SHEEPLE!” at each other seems a bit mental.

“£200 and they’d probably sell him the whole toilet block. I don’t think it’s been cleaned since 2007, so in that regard it’s a lot like Twitter.”

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Musk commented, ”MWAHAHA.

“Sorry. Your question. Yes, I have bought Twitter. A free speech utopia awaits.

“I don’t think it’s fair to say that I’ve spent $44bn on a toilet wall, even if the function and benefits to society are more or less the same.

“Although within six months of me owning it, you probably will feel the need to wash your hands after you’ve been near it.

“You’re welcome, mankind.”