Monday 25 April 2022 by Lucas Wilde

“I’m appalled by the misogyny aimed at this leggy little cocktease” says Boris


Boris, angela rayner

Boris Johnson has offered his own brand of support towards Angela Rayner.

Following “reports” in the Daily Mail “newspaper” that some Conservative MPs have accused the shadow chancellor of deliberately crossing and uncrossing her legs in the House of Commons to distract the “Prime Minister”, Boris Johnson was quick to attempt to distance himself from the notion.

“Absolutely stunning- I mean… appalling,” stuttered Boris.

“This lovely bit of crumpet is a valued member of the House and, as such, it is completely inappropriate to suggest that she’s using her considerable feminine charms to give this Prime Minister a prime lob-on.

“I mean, if she WAS trying, rest assured she’s succeeding. Thank God I’m stood behind a dispatch box, if you know what I mean.

“…sorry, I drifted off there for a second, what were you asking about? Ukraine or something?”

A spokesperson for the Conservatives said, “there absolute is not a culture of misogyny within a party led by serial womaniser, Boris Johnson.

“The Conservative party has a well-established complaints procedure, so any bits of totty within the party who feel hard done by can always raise their issues.”

The Boris Johnson collection, for all your Boris mocking needs!

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