Monday 25 April 2022 by Neil Tollfree

Carry on Boris: PM urged to ignore Angela Rayner’s bikini top pinging off at PMQs


Carry on Boris

Prime Minister Boris Johnson has been told to ignore the dirty tricks of Labour deputy leader Angela Rayner and carry on being Prime Minister.

Ms Rayner stands accused of waiting for Mr Johnson to begin answering a difficult question and then launching a campaign of distraction that begins with her standing up and doing vigorous chest exercises.

As Johnson reaches the climax of his speech, Shadow Foreign Minister David Lammy shouts “Now really let’s see those chests come out” and Ms Rayner does a particularly vigorous chest exercise that causes her bikini top to ping off into the face of the by now hopelessly flustered PM.

“She’s definitely doing it deliberately,” said a colleague of Mr Johnson.

“She knows he’s a powerful, masculine speaker, and because she’s just a stupid girl, her head gets all flustered when she tries to do complicated things.

“She knows she can’t win in any sort of debate with him and so has to resort to these sort of dirty feminine tricks to put him off.”

When questioned, Ms Rayner giggled and told the reporter to stop being so ‘naughty.’

Mr Johnson has not yet commented on the story as he was visiting the local greengrocers because he loves a nice pear first thing in the morning.

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