Sunday 24 April 2022

Civil servants admit biggest reason for working at home is to avoid risk of bumping into Jacob Rees-Mogg


JAcob rees-mogg passive aggressive note

Civil servants who prefer to work from home have admitted that is has much to do with avoiding chance encounters with Jacob Rees-Mogg.

Simon Williams, a mid-level civil servant who does something tedious with budget forecasts, told us, “Working at home saves me three hours a day in commuting time, which means I get to read my young children a bed time story every now and again.

“And, as pleasant as that it, it pales into insignificance when compared to the additional benefit of not worrying that some malevolent aristocratic apparition is going to magically appear at my shoulder without notice.

“You don’t know what it’s like, trying to make sure all the numbers do what all the numbers are supposed to do when Jacob Rees-Mogg can just appear at your cubicle.

“I’ll be honest, it’s a bit creepy. You’ll be sat there at your desk and he’ll saunter over like some Victorian work house owner checking his ’employees’ are putting in the effort required to earn their bowl of gruel.

“The note he left on my desk just reinforces what a brilliant decision I made to work from home on that day. I’m not sure what universe he lives in where the threat of a visit from a twat represents ‘motivation’?

“Empty desks in government offices whenever Jacob Rees-Mogg could pay a visit is a feature, not a bug.”

He added, “The Tories claim to be the part of business, yet he doesn’t seem to understand the idea that in some workplaces people will do anything to avoid a chance encounter with an arsehole boss.

“Still, it’s nice he had time to leave everyone a note, it’s not like there a hundreds of Brexit issues that require his attention more than time wasted writing passive aggressive threats to his employees.”

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