Vladimir Putin insists that any investigation into war crimes be led by Sue Gray

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After initially telling officials in the Hague that “All guidance was followed”, “No rules were broken” and “Nobody told him it was a war”, Vladimir Putin has insisted that British senior civil servant Sue Gray lead any investigation into war crimes in Ukraine.

Despite claims from Putin supporters that Russian soldiers were only there because “it was a work event” and that Ukraine was ambushed by “a thermobaric cake”, critics continue to insist that Putin has broken the international laws which the rest of the world has followed religiously.  

Putin told reporters in Moscow, “It did not occur to me then, or subsequently, that a gathering in the Ukraine could amount to a breach of the rules.”

A spokesperson for the International Criminal Court in the Hague has said that war crime investigations would cease during the Sue Gray investigation.

They explained, “This is an internal investigation rather than an independent inquiry. It was ordered by the Russian President, who obviously gets to set the terms of reference. Ms Gray, who is required to be impartial, is reporting back to him, and only to him.”

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Vladimir Putin, who has not said where he got the idea, has promised to release a fully edited and redacted copy of the report for public scrutiny when it is finally published, at some indeterminate date in the future.