Wednesday 20 April 2022 by Mark Molloy

‘I would definitely have taken that before the game’ insists jubilant Manchester United fan


Manchester United fan happy

A jubilant Manchester United fan is celebrating today after his team managed to somehow scrape a four nil defeat from bitter rivals Liverpool. 

Simon Williams, who stayed up into the night celebrating revealed his delight earlier after looking once again at the team sheets and then reading what the statistics were from last night’s Premier League encounter. 

Speaking earlier a relieved Williams declared, “I would have taken that beforehand, definitely.

“It’s a really good result when you look at both the line ups, and who we had on the bench – I would have snapped your fucking hands off for a decent four-nil defeat.

“I genuinely feared the worst and thought it could be eleven considering the defence contained Phil Jones AND Harry Maguire, but the boys really dug in and even managed 28% possession, which is way beyond expectations for our midfield when you compare it to theirs.

“Although to be fair I think Liverpool were just taking the piss in the second half and letting us have the ball for a bit, rather than just being mean about it.

“I’m just really proud of the boys because a couple of them even did a bit of running for three or four minutes at the start of the second half.

“And I’m sure there was a shot in there somewhere, or a pass at least.”

Asked if he thinks injuries played a part in the overall result we were told “Definitely, we’d have absolutely battered them with McFred.”

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