Wednesday 13 April 2022 by Neil Tollfree

Boris: I’m sorry I got caught breaking the law and promise to avoid getting caught next time


Boris Johnson apologises for getting caught

The Prime Minister has apologised for getting caught breaking the law and pledged that he won’t get caught next time.

“I have paid my fine. I accept I got caught breaking the law. I understand that people are rightfully angry with me and so I pledge that it won’t happen again,” he said in an interview given after being issued with a fixed penalty fine.

“I think the problem was that I was photographed at the party, so there was that definitive smoking gun evidence available, which meant that I was bang to rights.

“The key is making sure that that sort of evidence doesn’t exist, which means that next time I will be much more careful about who is there, what they are doing, and if there is any evidence that implicates me, that it is completely disposed of.”

The Prime Minister refused to say if he planned any further crimes.

“Ah. Well, no, you see, that’s exactly the sort of thing that could implicate me, and as I said, I’ve learned my lesson.

“Imagine if I said that, yes, I planned to commit more crimes, and then more crimes were committed then there would be fairly clear evidence that it was me who’d committed the crimes and I’d be caught.

“And as I’ve promised, I won’t get caught breaking the law again.”

The Cabinet of Arseholes – get the T-shirt HERE!

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