Tuesday 12 April 2022 by Neil Tollfree

Job requirements for Prime Minister updated to say ‘must have hardly ever broken the law’


Boris fines, lockdown

The official Government web page containing the job requirements for the position of Prime Minister has been updated with the phrase – ‘Must hardly ever have been convicted of crimes.’

The update comes in the wake of the current Prime Minister having been fined for breaking the law during lockdown.

“I think that if you aspire to hold the highest office in the land, then the important thing is you haven’t been fined for breaking the law many, many times,” explained a Prime Ministerial aide.

“As such the job requirements for the post reflect that.”

The aide denied that there was any significance to the update appearing in the last hour or so.

“Really, I didn’t know. I mean, we’ve been meaning to update the job requirements for years. Years and years. Entirely coincidental that it’s just gone live in the last few hours or so.”

The aide also denied that accepting that a Prime Minister can be convicted of some crimes is quite a change to the standards of public life.

They went on, “No. No, I don’t think so. No, I think it’s always been understood that, as long as you’re not found guilty of many crimes, then it’s fine. We’re just formalising that now, which I think is entirely right and proper.”

The aide suggested that there may be a further update to the job requirements to stipulate exactly how many crimes it is acceptable for a Prime Minister to be convicted of.

“Yes, we’ll probably be a bit more specific but, you know, maybe when the Met police finish their inquiry, eh?”

The Cabinet of Arseholes – Starring Rishi and Boris, get it HERE!

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