Russian state controlled media strenuously denies affiliation with George Galloway

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After being linked to a divisive, rabble-rousing and self-interested media presence, the Russian state media has this morning categorically denied links to George Galloway.

Galloway was described as ’Russian affiliated media’ by Twitter yesterday, leading to threats of legal action by Russia unless the allegation is immediately withdrawn by the social media platform.

“Yes, we’ve poisoned people on the street, shot down a commercial airliner and staged an unprovoked invasion of a neighbour, but some things are beyond even us”, said Kremlin spokesman Simonov Williamsovitch.

“It is extremely damaging to our reputation to be affiliated with a man who went on to reality television to lick the hand of Rula Lenska while pretending to be a cat.

“Russian affiliates fight bears while topless, we do not meow and lick the lady from Coronation Street.

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“Also, when people say things about him that he doesn’t like, he gets lawyers to issue threats of legal action by formal letter – this is very un-Russian. If he was genuinely affiliated to us, he would have poisoned them all.

“No, he is not affiliated to us. The accusation is embarrassing to everyone at the Kremlin, and we demand an immediate retraction.

“He is, at best, how you say… ‘the useful idiot’.”