Thursday 7 April 2022 by Mark Molloy

Rishi Sunak found alive and well in Boris Johnson’s fridge


Rishi Sunak hiding in the fridge

Rishi Sunak has been found alive and well in Boris Johnson’s fridge, according to reports this morning.

With the chancellor completely missing for hours this morning amid questions regarding his wife’s non-domiciled tax status, relieved Downing Street security staff have now confirmed that he has been found alive and well by police, inside a large fridge traditionally used by the Prime Minister.

A police spokesman confirmed, “Yes, we’ve found him, in the fridge.

“We should have looked there first to be honest, based on previous experience of where Tory politicians go to hide when things start turning to shit.

“We were made aware that the Chancellor went missing last night, around the time it was all over the news that his wife is currently benefitting from the tax rules which he is in charge of making.

“He was nowhere to be seen this morning, and we looked all over his house, and even asked his wife who was sat there watching TV even though she officially lives in India.

“Eventually we decided to look inside a large fridge which is usually used by the Prime Minister whenever he can’t answer questions, and thankfully, he was right there, shivering like a scared child.”

Asked what Rishi Sunak said to them when he was finally located he told us, “He said he doesn’t know his wife and has never met her.”

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