EU countries to immediately stop buying gas from Russia just as soon as it gets a bit warmer

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EU countries are to immediately stop buying gas from Russia it is revealed today, just as soon as the weather gets a bit warmer outside. 

With pressure mounting on the EU to impose more sanctions on Russia amid allegations of war crimes in Ukraine, EU ambassadors have today confirmed that they will immediately cease all imports of gas and coal from the country, in about two or three weeks when it starts getting warmer. 

A spokesperson for the EU confirmed, “Yeah, we would do it today, it’s just, well, a bit cold at the minute.

“We can announce that further sanctions will now be put in place against Russia including a ban on all imports of gas and coal from the country, from about the middle of May, if the weather improves.

“We could of course impose these sanctions right now in order to immediately stop the funding of Putin’s war machine, but it’s just a little bit inconvenient for us really, so we’ll hang fire for a few more weeks or so.

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“We just need the heating on at night for a little while longer to be honest, and we’d have to pay a bit more if we got the energy from elsewhere.

“However, if we see any more evidence of these despicable war crimes we will definitely be imposing the strictest possible sanctions.

“Or at least sending them a strongly worded email telling them we are disappointed.”