Man who spent all his money on NFTs fails to pay his gas bill with JPEG of an ape

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A man who spent all of his life savings on NFTs, convinced they would make him rich, has today struggled to get his energy supplier to accept a jpeg of an ape as payment for his gas bill.

Simon Williams, who now calls himself a ‘crypto-enthusiast’ and is exactly like that kid that you all went to school with who is doing the same, said he was disappointed with British Gas and their “borderline Amish” attitude to digital assets.

Williams went on, “I tried explaining that NFTs are in an asset class that can literally make you a millionaire, but they kept on saying I owed them £650.76 and how would I like to pay.

“I offered them an ape as payment – not one of those apes – a different much less high-profile kind – and I even offered to cover the gas fees, but for whatever reason they continue to insist they want to be paid using a currency of the past, one that is tied to the central banks and entirely trackable by the government. They’re such luddites.

“So I guess they’ll just have to wait for me to pay their bill, at least until I’ve recruited enough new gullible marks into the NFT grift to drive the price of assets high enough that I can afford to cash out.

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“And that shouldn’t be too long now given the government has today legitimised NFTs and opened the door the literally millions of idiots waiting to be separated from their money.

“In the meantime, I’m off to Tesco to see how much shopping I can get with 0.000029 Bitcoin.”