Monday 4 April 2022

Last person who still believes Boris Johnson now furious at the police issuing fines for parties that never happened


man believes Boris

The last person in the entire country predisposed to believing the words coming out of Boris Johnson’s mouth is today complaining about police issuing fines for Downing Street parties that never happened.

Simon Williams, an accounts clerk from Basingstoke, spoke of his outrage at the fines, telling us, “Boris told us it didn’t happen, and that should have been the end of the matter.

“I can’t believe in this day and age the word of the prime minister isn’t enough to put an end to investigations of potentially illegal acts. If we can’t trust the word of the man in Downing Street, then who can we trust?

“Boris is a man of integrity, so I find it despicable that the police are going around issuing fines for these so-called parties when Boris stood up in parliament and categorically denied they ever happened.

“These parties allegedly happened at Boris’ house – don’t you think he’d know if there were parties being held in his house during lockdown? This is why this whole investigation is complete nonsense.”

Williams went on to explain his theory about how these fines have come to pass.

He told us, “One of two things is true, either, the police force is entirely corrupt and every single investigative officer involved holds a political grudge against our leader and should be in prison for an attempted coup, or, Boris lied to parliament.

“So the sooner we get rid of all these corrupt police the better.”

Mr Bullshit – get the best-selling mug HERE!

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