Friday 1 April 2022

Arsehole faces consequences


Arsehole to face consequences

In an unusual turn of events, an arsehole responsible for a range of awful events, will face the consequences of his actions rather than laughing them off and going about his day as normal.

The unspecified arsehole, who may well have been responsible for any combination of corruption, bribery, threats of violence, adultery, causing unnecessary large scale deaths, deception and irredeemable incompetence, is set to face the consequences of his behaviour because that’s what the universe has decided should happen today.

The arsehole is likely to find himself either sacked, fined, divorced, homeless, penniless or in prison as a result of the consequences of his actions, which he will no doubt find utterly surprising, given, well, how everything has always gone for him.

“No, no, this is not right, this isn’t how it goes,” the arsehole told us.

“Doing things badly, or doing bad things isn’t something that has actual consequences. That’s simply not how the world works. Good Lord, can you imagine if it did?

“The prisons would be packed the rafters with various figures of influence, and then where would we be? What sort of incentive would that provide for the next generation of grifters and power-hungry sociopaths? Who would be their role models?

“No, I don’t care if there are police at my front door, I think I’d much prefer it if everyone simply realises what day it is today and then goes back to the living with the grim reality of people like me getting away with absolutely everything, forever.”

The Cabinet of Arseholes – get the best-selling mug here

Previous post:

Next post: