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BBC News is looking for alternative words to mean ‘bad thing’, sources have revealed this morning.
Fed up with their news anchors describing every little thing as a ‘crisis’, the BBC has shelled out to buy their reporters a new thesaurus and a dictionary in the hope it might expand their limited vocabulary slightly.
Simon Williams, Head of BBC news told The Today Programme, “Well, currently we’ve got the Ukraine crisis of course, and the cost of living crisis. Before that there was the Coronavirus crisis, a care home crisis, a Prime Minister in crisis, a travel industry in crisis, an NHS staff crisis and the perennial favourite, a petrol crisis.
“But that was before we got this thesaurus. At first the team were having real cri-, er, tough time coming up with alternative words to mean, you know, a problem.
“But now the, er, difficulty seems to have passed and what was once the makings of an, er, severe situation is not even… challenging. Is that correct? It doesn’t sound right. No it is, definitely, according to this.
“And from now on a ‘war of words’ will be referred to as a ‘disagreement’, whatever that means.”
