A man has begun a massive clean-up operation at his home today after tearing his whole house apart this morning looking for something green for his kids to wear to school for St Patrick’s Day.
Simon Williams, who has an Irish friend, realised he needed something green after being presented with a letter from his children this morning at half-eight after already getting them dressed.
Speaking earlier, he told us, “There are clothes everywhere, none of which are green.
“Obviously I was over the moon to find out that the kids had to wear green for St Patrick’s Day, just three minutes before we left for school. So I started to look in the wardrobe, but neither of them own a single green item.
“I ended up emptying every wardrobe and drawer in the house, and there was literally nothing I could use without them looking really shit.
“I finally found some green socks for one of them, well they had a green stripe on them anyway, which will have to do.
“And some green pyjama bottoms for the other, and a kind of lime green cardigan, which was a bit more yellow in the daylight, but by then, it was just too late.
“Thankfully, it’s a bit chilly so I could put their big coats on until they actually got into the school and all of the other parents didn’t get to see how they shit they looked.
“Happy fecking St Patrick’s Day.”