After overnight turmoil in the international money markets, the Russian Ruble has dropped to a record low against Monopoly money this morning.
Monopoly money, which is widely regarded as worthless bits of paper used in a popular board game, is now substantially more valuable than the oil-backed Russian currency.
Until very recently, most Russian Oligarchs could receive a substantial wedge of cash just from passing the Kremlin before turning it into property investments wherever they landed next, but now you can buy more by passing go and taking the £200.
“It used to be that you could buy a house or hotel on Park Lane or Mayfair with Russian money with no difficulty whatsoever, but thanks to recent sanctions it’s quicker and cheaper to use Monopoly money,” economist Simon Williams told us.
“But now the average Russian billionaire is looking at a stark choice between ‘Go bankrupt’ or ‘Go To Jail’. Opportunities for Free Parking are going to be very limited going forwards.”