Wurzels to release new version of ‘I’ve got a brand new combine harvester’ titled ‘I’ve got a brand new Russian T-80U’

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Somerset band the Wurzels are to re-release their biggest hit with changes to reflect current developments in Ukrainian agriculture, according to reports this morning.

Ukrainian farmers have reported a bumper harvest of Russian military equipment this year, which they expect will come in very handy clearing out an infestation of varmints on their property in the coming months, and the band say it’s important to keep up with what’s going on on the land.

“Combine harvesters were all very well in the 1970s when we topped the hit parade, but what the modern farmer really needs is an ML-TB amphibious troop carrier which has been left idling when its owners gave up and ran away,” said a spokesman for the band.

“Of course, the main focus of the song is still a farmer wooing his neighbour who is similarly well-endowed, so the chorus will reflect that:

“Now I’ve got a brand new Russian T-80U
I’ll give you the key
I’ve got forty missiles, 
And you’ve got a 9K-33.

“Anyone for a scrumpy and Vodka?”